The Toy Store

So this was my genius idea for 2007 . . . let Beren set up a toystore to sell all his "outgrown, damaged, and too much hassle to keep any longer" toys to make room for the new installment of Christmas loot. But wait, there's more! Not only would he get to set up and run the store (an activity I knew he would love) but we would pay him real cash money for the toys AND he could use the money he makes from selling his toys to buy Christmas presents for us. Win, win, win! This might not work with every child, but Beren is just the right age and temperament for this sort of scheme. He was awesome during the weeding out process. We must have jettisoned 2/3 of his stuff. He had one wobbly moment regarding an oversized, plastic VW Beetle, but I was happy to relent in light of the gargantuan pile of puzzles, stuffed animals, and happy meal toys that we had already exiled. It was so funny to hear him argue for and against certain toys. He's pretty logical for a four year old and had pretty good reasons for hanging onto the things he did retain. Even when I disagreed in some particular, I respected his position. For example, he felt we needed two toy cash registers because it cut down on fighting when friends came over and wanted to play store.

Because Beren had so many items to sell, we (Eric and I) had to come back to the store several times as different customers. Some were fairly memorable. Eric came back once as a shoplifter and Beren had to really bring the hammer down. He ended up calling the police I think. And he was very considerate of me in my "Old lady" get-up. After helping me choose toys for my fictional grandsons and assisting me with my cane, he spontaneously offered to take me to the Doctor once his shop closed. One of Beren's favorite aspects of running his toy store was using his cash registers and his ATM. We used real money so he had to do some quick calculations. Fortunately, one of the cash registers has a built in calculator and customers (excepting the nasty shoplifter) were suprisingly honest about the volume and pricing of their purchases. All in all, it was a lot of fun for our family and created some nice memories. Eric and I both enjoyed the carefully selected gifts Beren got for us with his toy store money. He gave daddy a giftcard for hot chocolates and pastries for a special father/son outing at Border's Cafe and he gave me a magical mailbox that not only contained two chocolate oranges, but continues to fill up with complimentary notes, coupons for shoulder rubs, and one of a kind art creations (kudos to daddy for his creative assistance on this one). I like checking my Christmas box (I know I have mail when the flag is up) way more than the one on the side of my house!

Berenisms

Beren: *Pretending to be a vacuum cleaner while chasing and generally terrifying the cat around the house*
Dad: Beren, don't terrorize the cat!
Beren: But Dad, I'm a vacuum cleaner!
Dad: So?
Beren: Vacuum cleaners don't KNOW any better!

Berenisms

http://www.odot.state.or.us/forms/dmv/37.pdf

This is the book Beren requested for reading the other night when it was my night to read him stories and put him down. You might have noticed that it is in fact the Oregon Driver Manual. Yes, that's correct. I didn't get the link wrong. When he saw the puzzled look on my face, he said "I have to learn a lot more about cars, Dad."

Christmas

I've been mostly dead all Christmas. Let me explain. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. No wait... that's not right. Ah yes, Christmas. It was good times. I need a vacation now, though.

Let it Go, Because Man, it's Gone

Heather, Beren, and I got some hot chocolate at Borders yesterday. It's really fantastic hot chocolate, by the way, with syrup, whipped cream, white chocolate shavings and even a handy solid chocolate stirring stick. That's actually the source of this little story.

Beren, bless him, accidentilly dropped his stir stick down into the cup. When I explained to him that this was not a recoverable situation, the poor little guy cried the cry of 1000 deaths. He was really bummed, I mean REALLY upset about the loss of his little chocolate stir stick. Heather and I had absolutely no idea how very important that stir stick was to him until this moment when he let loose the most pathetic, genuine sob of remorse I think I've ever heard out of him. Our reaction, of course, was to laugh because... what else are you gonna do? We were caught so off guard. Poor guy. We eventually got him calmed down, you know, laid on with the "It will be OK, it will probably melt and make a yummy spot at the bottom" type of arguments, but it really shook him up. Maybe some day he can read this blog, look back on this, and laugh a little.

I yearn for a time where life will become so simple again, where priorities are so black and white, and there is nothing more important to worry about than the state of my solid chocolate stir stick.

As I think back, it reminds me of one of those SNL Jack Handy quotes:

“If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.”

Got Costume Party?

Michelle "Paris" Linton (with child) and her insecurity guard (Freeman)

Conrad and Lisa "giddyup" James

A man and his pregnant cat. Don't cover up the prego! Embrace the prego! (Elana and Nathan Nordstrom)

Brian "the climber" Bowlsby and his Punkin' (you see what I did here with the double entendre?)

PS - Pregnant, the third (with twins!)

Uncle Scott, the sage.... that cloak looks familiar... and that staff... all very familiar...

She's smiling cause she just whacked him in the head. He's smiling cause he thinks he's a dolphin now. (Dave and Becky Brallier)

Eric, the brigand and her majesty, the queen of 21658 SE Oak.

Christmas Wishlists

Because some of you have asked . . .here are the items on our santa lists this year:
(used items are okay)

BEREN:
- A race track set that allows him to race two cars against each other. This could be circular or straight, loops and underpasses welcome, but not required.
- A clip-on tie and white shirt for church (probably size 6) He wants a tie like Daddy. His favorite color is green, but any color is fine.
- Thomas the train: Quarry mine tunnel, load and sort recycling center, or Sodor engine wash building.
- Kidizoom Camera from V-tech (This is expensive($60), or other knock-off brand kids' camera for less. We saw several at Toys-R-Us.
- Any kind of metal car where the doors and trunk and (dare we hope it?) the hood open. Beren loves to "fiddle" with these things and the more detailed the better.
- Any kind of "city" play set that has road signs (yield, stop, merge) and safety cones etc. He really likes setting these up himself and maneuvering traffic around them.

HEATHER:
- Cuisinart (knock-off brand okay, just something that is large and lets me chop, dice, slice, grate etc.)
- Raquetball and tennisball pressurized storage cans (keeps balls from going flat)
- Covers for raquetball and tennis raquets
- Long sports duffle for transporting raquetball and tennis gear
- Gift card for "Napster" or simlar website that allows me to download MP3's to my fake I-pod. NOT I-tunes! They won't work on my fake-pod.
- Cherry wood curio cabinet with glass front door. (see example pic) I want to mount this on my wall and change the knick-knacks inside to go with the seasons. I think it will be fun to create a new display every couple of months and to select little miniatures that I like. One with a variety of shelf sizes would be good. That way I can get different sized figurines.

ERIC:
- Please see Eric's wish list on Board Game geek to know what he most desires. He LOVES games. He does not care if that is all he gets for Christmas. Really. Most games can be obtained at "www.funagaingames.com" or "www.boardsandbits.com" or "www.timewellspent.org" They also do gift certificates. Here is the link to his Board Game Geek wishlist: click here
- Note from Eric: I'm really just thrilled to recieve anything at all for Christmas. *blush*

Berenisms (He's on a Roll)

Last night Beren says "Mommy, I love you. I wish I had a whole lot of mommies." Heather wasn't sure if she should be flattered or insulted.

Berenisms

With the 'dangerous' bees incident behind us, we did what any self-respecting parents would do in this situation,... we decided to tease Beren about wild amimals (that's his world for Animals).

Beren: What are some wild amimals, Dad?
Me: Well,... there are bunnies....
Beren: No, you silly! Bunnies are NOT dangerous!
Me: Oh,... well,... let's see... there are chipmunks...
Beren: Yeah, chipmunks!

Berenisms Chapter V

(While watching an animal cartoon on TV with Dad)
Beren: Caterpillars don't really talk do they?
Dad: Nope. Animals don't talk; it's only pretend.
Beren: Dogs talk though.
Dad: They do?
Beren: Yeah, they bark.
Dad: Well yeah, but that's not really talking. They don't speak English like we do.
Beren: They speak "Barkish."

(Eating breakfast with Grandma Blanchard before going to the Oregon State Fair)
Grandma: Are you excited about seeing the animals?
Beren: What?! There aren't any animals at the fair!
Grandma: Sure there are! Cows, chickens, goats, horses . . .
Beren: Oh, farm animals. But not any dangerous animals, right? Like bees?

(Following a conversation where I had explained that our friend's mom had passed away and what all that meant. Beren approached the kitchen table 10 minute later with this concern)
Beren: Mom?
Mom: Yes?
Beren: Did she die because someone forgot to say "bless you" when she sneezed?
Mom: Uhhhh . . . no. It was a little more serious than that. You know, Beren, when I said that it's polite to say "bless you" after someone sneezes, I didn't
mean . . .

(Beren's preschool class is taking a bird watching walk. Beren is at the front of the line)
Child #1: Look at that crow!
(all children point their mini-binoculars skyward)
Child #2: Look, teacher, I found a feather!
(I collect feather for our art project)
Beren: Mom! Quick! Bring the kids. This is very unusual.
(Children gather around an automobile parked on the curb)
Beren: This car is a Toyota . . . but its hubcaps say Volkswagen!

Laziest Cat Eh-var!

So the other day while Eric and I were watching TV in the living room, Darth Kittius, who was lounging on the back of the couch, stood up, stretched, and tried to leave. He couldn't, however, because one of the claws on his front paw wouldn't unhook itself from where he had penetrated the upholstery. He pulled on it, he shook it, he wiggled it to and fro. In the end, he laid back down and went to sleep. Pitiful.

Cruise Irene Visits Oregon

So we finally had a visit from another cruise member besides our beloved Brian and Windy. Irene, (on right)who was doing a bike tour on the Oregon coast, stopped by to say "hello" a couple of weeks ago. She brought a charming friend, and we enjoyed catching up and playing, you guessed it . . . board games! We liked our dining table mates from our cruise last year so much that we'd like to have them all visit at some point. So far we've only managed three. Six more to go!

Some Games Bring Out The Worst

I just played my second game of Taj Mahal yesterday with my friends Sam and Dave. I must say, that game brings out the worst in me. I guess the good news is that the worst isn't nearly as bad as it used to be. But still, I just felt myself getting really angry and... we... call me crazy but that does NOT enhance the game experience for me (or anyone else).

There is this mechanic, it's basically an auction, where you're bidding on stuff. The problem is that if you bid, you pay, whether you win or not. This leads to the inevitable bidding war, followed by at least one person going home with nothing and having payed great cost for the privilege. Some people would call this 'intensity', but for me it's just complete and total frustration. The kind of frustration that makes me cranky... angry even. Thinking back, I think this sort of thing is a key factor in games that really tick me off. Not all games are this frustrating for me. Certainly, playing hard, making what you think are good choices, but then getting clobbered in a game will cause a certain amount of frustration, but not the kind that makes you want to hunt down the designer and surprise him in a dark alley.

I'm glad I've at least pinned down one of the mechanics that really sets me off. I'll have to think long and hard about a game with all or nothing auctions (where everybody pays) as one of the main mechanics.

I guess another known mechanic is direct combat. I don't like being attacked in a game. Even if it was a good tactical move for my opponent, I can't help but take it a little personally. This usually ends up in making retaliatory moves for the sake of revenge, rather than maximizing my score or potential for winning the game.

I should make a list of these. Then if somebody makes a game with everything on the list, I can skip out on playing and go straight to waiting around in dark alleys. At least then I'd have friends left, willing to visit me in the big house.

Cool friend Windy solves "zazzy" mystery

PS: SHE IS NOT SO COOL THAT SHE WON'T SCARF CURLY POTATO THINGIES WITH ME THOUGH.

Heather! Great to hear from ya.

Here’s the scoop on Zazzy, it’s slang. See http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=zazzy

1. zazzy: A basic cross between "zany", "pizazz" and "snazzy" to create an adjective suggesting that something is too great to be confined to one word.

"Did you hear about that trip to Holland? Everyone's coming back saying it was completely zazzy!"

tags: snazzy jazzy zany crazy funky

2. zazzy: something shiny or flashy.

That's some zazzy silver you got there.
Forget bling, I got zazzy.

Girls camp was da bomb!

They cooked all my meals. They let me make crafts and canoe on the lake. I hiked, I swam, I quilted, I ate snow cones. What's not to love? 'Course I also taught and watched over the well-being of seven 12 year olds, but that was fun too! Lovely girls :). My partner adult leader was great and we had two awesome junior counselors to help us out. I also discovered a new campfire dessert . . . chocolate eclairs. This consisted of toasting biscuit dough shaped around a wooden 3/4' dowel and then filling it with mini-chocolate chips (these melt quickly in the hot dough) and pastry cream like the kind they put in bismarks. Goo-ooo-ood! My camp talent was writing songs and chants for flag time. We had to come up with two of these a day so it was a handy skill. I usually wrote them during the morning devotional (while also paying very strict attention to the the speaker's message.) Late morning is a sleepy time for me so it was good to keep my hands moving. Nobody expected us to come up with much, just being 1st years and all, but we rocked their world. It was a lot of work getting ready for camp, but in the end it was totally worth it. I have lots of ideas for next year. Yes, I AM going every year that they'll let me! Wouldn't you? besides, I never did figure out what "Zazzy" means. New root idea: "Jazzy?"

The Pumpkin Vine That Ate The Bulldozer

Beren ran in from the yard a couple of weeks ago calling, "Mom! Come here! Something strange is happening!" I went outside to where where Beren was indignantly holding up a pumpkin leaf in the garden. "It's eating my toy!" he complained. Sure enough, it was. I'm pretty sure if we had got to it even one week later, it would have been a goner. The tendrils were complete wrapped around it in 3 places. This spawned a nice little discussion about the scientific method though and we ended up creating a hypothesis about viney plants and performed an experiment with the cucumber vine. Grandpa Blanchard (the science teacher) was proud.

Pirate Party

So this is Beren and I before the pirate rock concert at the library. I know . . . "Hot!"

Blanchard Family Camping Trip

You'll notice that Beren is holding the leash of the "fatted dog" that will be served later on for the dinner meal. It is a singular honor.

Nature Twins!

This is how Beren traveled for most of the camping trip. He found Uncle Reid to be energy efficient and to offer stunning views.

Don't be fooled by the fact that Adam and his girl friend, Ashley, are standing upright. These people are still asleep.

Reid and Melissa Cooked ribs for us on their dinner night. Mmmmmmm . . .

Matt and Theona thrilled us all with their stylish PJ's from the North Pole collection.

Zebra Booty

Soooo I'm going to Girl's Camp as a counselor next week. It is pretty much taking me an entire week to pack. I'm doing other things, but mostly they are just interruptions of the packing. Like today Beren and I went to a Pirate rock concert for kids. That was good times. I'll try to post some pictures later. We got all decked out like groupies. Pretty rad. The name of my unit at camp is "Zazzy Zebras." We actually picked this. (The camp theme is "Welcome to the Jungle." Actually though, I think zebras are more fond of the savannah. Anyway . . .) I don't think "zazzy" is even a word. I championed "Zesty," but the adolescents shot me down. "Zesty" is funny; like salad dressing or a beverage with a splash of lime. The thought of this adjective applied to striped, safari equine amuses me in ways I can't explain. It did not strike a similar chord with my charges. My goal at camp is to define "zazzy" once and for all. Root: pizazz? sassy? I'll probably have to conduct interviews. You may receive a phone call.