Berenisms: Consumer Reports

It's that time again. Time to replace our tired old cars, or at least one of them. Heather picked up the latest edition of Consumer Reports Used Car Buying Guide. I kid you not, Beren has read that guide EASILY 10 times more than Heather and I put together. And, since he can actually read, and not just look at the pictures, he takes great pleasure in letting people know how desirable their cars are. We've had several talks about how it is not appropriate to tell Brother Soandso that their Chevy whatever is a terrible car because the 2005 redesign introduced clumsy handling and a harsh ride.. When he discovered that Grandma's car was a Consumer Reports 'best bet', he had to call her that night and share the great news.

He's 5. FIVE. As in one year for every finger on your right hand (based on the average hand, actual finger counts may vary).

What have we gotten ourselves into? I can only hope he'll use his powers for good.

Girls Night Out!

So these chicks are my homies from the Yamhill Ward. We've been through a lot together . . . Sunday school, seminary, high school, and in some cases, college. Amazingly, we were all together in one place and are still so smokin', how could we not get together? Going clockwise from the left this is Sara Walker, Sarah Webster, Mindy Judd, Me, and Rachel Rollins (Rachel made me swear I would post that she is prego in this pic). So is Sarah W., but more newly so.

CRUISE REUNION #3

For those who may not remember, we made a couple of great friends on our first cruise 2 years ago. Since that time, Windy (Washington) and Brian (California) have come to see us annually to rekindle the joy.

We went on the Willamette jetboats this time which was totally fun, if a little damp. Brian graciously yielded his seat on the edge to me for the return trip. Hence my bespeckled teeshirt and hair that took two days to comb through. What a gentleman.




Chilling out at Saturday Market.


Okay, you have to admit, this is some killer photography. Too bad our friends had to suffer for my art.


Eric was so exhilarated when he found out he was getting two board games for his birthday that he transformed into Vishnu and promptly wet himself.

Beren's 5th Birthday!

Beren, on the day he turned five, practicing his French Stewart impression

For his birthday activity, Beren chose to go to the Children's museum. Though I have hope for him to evidence theatrical tendencies, he seems to have inherited a disturbing amount of his father's minimalism. Out of the whole wardrobe room in the theater, all he wanted were the shoes.

His favorite place was the simulated grocery store. You can't tell from the photo, but he was very thorough. He passed every single item over the scanner individually even if the customer had millions of things in his/her cart.



Daddy had fun too. A little too much really.

Beren ponders the all important birthday wish . . . What would my mother want? Should I wish her a new dress, a new car, one full night of restful sleep? I wish I knew.

The Halls Grace us With Their Washingtonian Presence

Don't be fooled by this stoic image. Moments before they were going down the slide and screaming like little girls.

This is their new chunk baby, Blake.

What goes up . . .

. . . Must come down.

Berenisms

Dad: Some day you'll be as tall as I am. I'm done growing taller, but you're still going.

Beren: You're as old as you can get, huh?

Dad: lol. Something like that.

Why Can't Vacations Last Forever?

What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico! Just kidding . . . they're virgin :).

Scuba anyone? We almost didn't think we were gonna be able to do this. It was rather intimidating and felt extremely awkward at first. Fortunatley we persevered and lived.

Eric had this dress made for me for my birthday. Isn't he great? I got to pick the fabric, go to fittings etc. and pick the style.

Four-wheeling in Mazatlan. I could do this all day. Really.

Lunch at Pipis! We discovered the restuarant in 1996 and it became a favorite. Going back was pure nostalgic joy!

Beren Asserts His Independence

All I want is a picture of my little boy practicing his talk for primary . . . smiling. Is that too much to ask?

It's my birfday!

What can I say? Twenty-five never felt so good!

Happy Valentines(ish) Day!

So if you read "Brallierfest" (and you really should)you already know about this, but for those of you who secretly resent Becki for her lightning-quick posting ability (her kids probably went hungry just so she could get hers up first) here is my more leisurely post about the same event. On February 16th we went to a stake dance together. We ate, we danced, we irritated older couples by taking tons of pictures and hiding in the decorative bushes and we played Balderdash in the gameroom (the reason Eric consented to go). They had a cool floor show with "Lion Dancers" (see pic) who shredded some lettuce from the Stake President's hand. We did not eat this symbolic salad, but a good time was had by all.

I like to call this one: "Jolly Bralliers" OR "Handsome and the Hottie" OR "We're so happy to be friends with the Mowrers we can't stop grinning like maniacs"

The Nose Plays

Beren clutches mom's sleeve in Blockbuster . . .
Beren: Did someone say my name?
Mom: No, I don't think so. Did you hear someone say it?
Beren: (in confidential tones) It's coming from inside my nose.
Mom: (Chortle, guffaw, chuckle etc.)

Later on that evening . . .
Mom: Is there still someone talking inside your nose?
Beren: (with great disdain) No Mom! That only happens about once a week.

The Golden Princess

3/15/2008
3/22/2008

Nuff said?

Fleeting Sanity?

For just the briefest of moments today, I was reading a forum post on BGG and suddenly felt incredibly disturbed that the text of the page was straight up and down and was likely to fall off the bottom of the screen if I didn't tilt the monitor backwards immediately.

I have no idea what this means.

The Toy Store

So this was my genius idea for 2007 . . . let Beren set up a toystore to sell all his "outgrown, damaged, and too much hassle to keep any longer" toys to make room for the new installment of Christmas loot. But wait, there's more! Not only would he get to set up and run the store (an activity I knew he would love) but we would pay him real cash money for the toys AND he could use the money he makes from selling his toys to buy Christmas presents for us. Win, win, win! This might not work with every child, but Beren is just the right age and temperament for this sort of scheme. He was awesome during the weeding out process. We must have jettisoned 2/3 of his stuff. He had one wobbly moment regarding an oversized, plastic VW Beetle, but I was happy to relent in light of the gargantuan pile of puzzles, stuffed animals, and happy meal toys that we had already exiled. It was so funny to hear him argue for and against certain toys. He's pretty logical for a four year old and had pretty good reasons for hanging onto the things he did retain. Even when I disagreed in some particular, I respected his position. For example, he felt we needed two toy cash registers because it cut down on fighting when friends came over and wanted to play store.

Because Beren had so many items to sell, we (Eric and I) had to come back to the store several times as different customers. Some were fairly memorable. Eric came back once as a shoplifter and Beren had to really bring the hammer down. He ended up calling the police I think. And he was very considerate of me in my "Old lady" get-up. After helping me choose toys for my fictional grandsons and assisting me with my cane, he spontaneously offered to take me to the Doctor once his shop closed. One of Beren's favorite aspects of running his toy store was using his cash registers and his ATM. We used real money so he had to do some quick calculations. Fortunately, one of the cash registers has a built in calculator and customers (excepting the nasty shoplifter) were suprisingly honest about the volume and pricing of their purchases. All in all, it was a lot of fun for our family and created some nice memories. Eric and I both enjoyed the carefully selected gifts Beren got for us with his toy store money. He gave daddy a giftcard for hot chocolates and pastries for a special father/son outing at Border's Cafe and he gave me a magical mailbox that not only contained two chocolate oranges, but continues to fill up with complimentary notes, coupons for shoulder rubs, and one of a kind art creations (kudos to daddy for his creative assistance on this one). I like checking my Christmas box (I know I have mail when the flag is up) way more than the one on the side of my house!

Berenisms

Beren: *Pretending to be a vacuum cleaner while chasing and generally terrifying the cat around the house*
Dad: Beren, don't terrorize the cat!
Beren: But Dad, I'm a vacuum cleaner!
Dad: So?
Beren: Vacuum cleaners don't KNOW any better!

Berenisms

http://www.odot.state.or.us/forms/dmv/37.pdf

This is the book Beren requested for reading the other night when it was my night to read him stories and put him down. You might have noticed that it is in fact the Oregon Driver Manual. Yes, that's correct. I didn't get the link wrong. When he saw the puzzled look on my face, he said "I have to learn a lot more about cars, Dad."

Christmas

I've been mostly dead all Christmas. Let me explain. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. No wait... that's not right. Ah yes, Christmas. It was good times. I need a vacation now, though.

Let it Go, Because Man, it's Gone

Heather, Beren, and I got some hot chocolate at Borders yesterday. It's really fantastic hot chocolate, by the way, with syrup, whipped cream, white chocolate shavings and even a handy solid chocolate stirring stick. That's actually the source of this little story.

Beren, bless him, accidentilly dropped his stir stick down into the cup. When I explained to him that this was not a recoverable situation, the poor little guy cried the cry of 1000 deaths. He was really bummed, I mean REALLY upset about the loss of his little chocolate stir stick. Heather and I had absolutely no idea how very important that stir stick was to him until this moment when he let loose the most pathetic, genuine sob of remorse I think I've ever heard out of him. Our reaction, of course, was to laugh because... what else are you gonna do? We were caught so off guard. Poor guy. We eventually got him calmed down, you know, laid on with the "It will be OK, it will probably melt and make a yummy spot at the bottom" type of arguments, but it really shook him up. Maybe some day he can read this blog, look back on this, and laugh a little.

I yearn for a time where life will become so simple again, where priorities are so black and white, and there is nothing more important to worry about than the state of my solid chocolate stir stick.

As I think back, it reminds me of one of those SNL Jack Handy quotes:

“If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.”